Parenting Tips for Teens
Read below for Five Steps in Active Communication.
More tips coming soon!
Basic Discipline Communication Tips
Start with Polite Requests:
Not every problem or conflict requires firm discipline or a lot of discussion. Asking your teen politely for what you want is often enough to influence them to change their behavior.
Example: "Honey, from now on will you do a favor and bring your dirty dishes to the sink when you're done?" or "Honey, I noticed you forgot to put your dishes in the sink. Please come and get them."
Move to "I" Messages:
If the problem behavior continues, use an "I" message which are firm, friendly, and surprisingly effective.
First, name the behavior or situation you want changed. Example: "I have a problem with your leaving dirty dished in the living room."
Say how you feel about the situation. Example: "I feel taken advantage of..."
State your reason. Example: "because I have to spend time and energy cleaning up after you."
Say what you want done. Example: "When you leave the den, I want you to bring your dirty dishes to the kitchen and put them in the dishwasher."
Changing habits is not easy. Whether your teen simply forgets or they are testing if you are really committed to the change, you will have to be firm at times.
The key is to keep Firm Reminders short, simple, direct, and strong. Example: "Dishes, Sink, Now."
If you meet resistance or apathy, stay calm and focused.
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The above tips are sourced from our classroom textbooks Teens in Action: A Teen's Guide for Surviving and Thriving in the 21st Century by Michael H. Popkin and Peggy Hendrickson.