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Cutting: Why do teens do it & How can parents help?

14-18% of high school students and 12-35% of college students have engaged in some form of self-injury behavior at least once. Teens will often begin self-injury behavior between ages 11 and 14.

The Huffington Post featured an article by Michael R. Hollander, PhD, from McLean Hospital. Click HERE to read the original article. Click HERE for local mental health resources.

While the topic of self-harm is of serious concern for parents, it's important to know that when the right approach and treatment is provided in a timely manner, this behavior is very treatable.

That said, kids who self-harm need treatment right away. Giving into pleas for more time and delaying treatment can lead to further, more serious injury. While we often hear about the number of teens who do this behavior, the majority who are treated appropriately can go on to lead happy, healthy lives.

Is an act of self-harm a form of suicide? Can it lead to suicide?

This type of self-harm is known as non-suicidal self-injury (NSSI), which is the deliberate, intentional damage to one's body without the intention of dying. There is no intention of suicide, however, NSSI can lead to suicide if it goes untreated.

Why do adolescents cut or engage in other self-harm activities?

It's most often a way of trying to manage emotions. For example, when teens cut themselves, they will usually experience a sense of calmness. It also appears that the vast majority of teens who self-injure are those who have a high level of self-criticalness and self-loathing. Self-injury helps them to contain their emotions. Or conversely, if they feel numb and empty, they use self-injury to feel something.

A small percentage of teens use self-injury for avoidance or to create a distraction. An even smaller percentage use it to get attention. And for a very small group of kids, they use it to punish themselves because they feel they don't deserve to live, breathe, or take up space. They may cut themselves in the context of an extreme emotional situation.

This is a group of highly-emotional and sensitive adolescents who frequently feel things more intensely than their peers, but that doesn't necessarily distinguish who would engage in self-injury. This type of behavior is about not having the skill set to modulate emotions in conjunction with a high level of self-criticalness. There are other factors that can come into play as well, such as having other mental illnesses including depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, substance use, and/or a history of trauma.

What are the most effective ways to respond to an incident of self-harm behavior?

These are the points Dr. Hollander focuses on:

  • It's important to not overreact. Try to assume a matter-of-fact approach, without judgement. Try to stay open minded and validate your teen's emotions. Validation is key to keeping an open dialogue.

  • Get an assessment of whether or not the behavior is self-injurious in order to manage one's feelings or if the intention is to commit suicide.

  • Assuming the behavior is non-suicidal, I suggest that parents start with their primary care doctor to help find a therapist who is highly trained and has a good track record of treating adolescents with self-injurious behavior. Elements of successful treatment for self-injury include indivigual therapy with a skills component such as dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), which is a type of cognitive therapy that helps one increase emotional and cognitive regulation by improving coping skills. It's also important to include family skills training and family therapy.


Michael R. Hollander, PhD, is the director of training and senior consultant for 3East, McLean Hospital's DBT treatment program for adolescents, and an assistant professor of psychology in the Department of Psychiatry, part-time, at Harvard Medical School.